with No Comments


~ Inner Beauty vs. Vanity ~

Do you remember the dolly you played with when you were a little girl? You know, the one with long shiny hair and green doe-like eyes? But after a few months, her hair became unmanageable and a little frizzy…and a year later, you no longer wanted to play with her, because her tresses resembled a wire brush.

My best friend, Giggles, wound up in a cardboard box in the attic—stuffed amid grade school trinkets, old poems, broken jewelry, and other junk I didn’t get around to tossing into the Goodwill pile.

Beach Body Barbie replaced her.


Well, now that many years have passed, can you see a strange resemblance to your abandoned baby dolls when you look at your own jacked-up thinning hair and tired eyes staring back at you in your bathroom mirror?

I do . . . (Insert frown here). Now, my hair looks like a wire brush too.


It’s hard to count how many times I’ve heard similar hair complaints from new clients at my salon. Sure, I can share some secrets, work a little magic, and help them—I’m a professional Colorist / Stylist with over thirty-four years in the beauty business. But what if this crisis she’s having is about much more than her frizzy hair? Can I help her embrace the changing seasons, so she can turn the page to another chapter in her life?

And worse, how do I help myself now that I’m becoming that client?

Oh God, no—

Maybe God wants my theories about inner beauty to resonate with my own spirit. I’ve always said real beauty comes from within our soul. Some outer shells might appear to be beautiful, but when the winds blow, and the smooth layers of self-are stripped away—all that remains is one’s essence. Our spirit. Light. Darkness. This is the real you, and the real me.

We try all the latest hair, makeup, and skincare tricks and trends. A few work. Most are temporary.

God is not against us. He soothes our minds with gorgeous sunrises and fiery sunsets.

He knows us. He knows if (and what) we’re hiding under all that makeup—or latest beauty trend. He knows—real beauty comes from within. It’s who we are. It’s what we believe and what we eat. It’s what we do every day. It’s even what we think …

Because beautiful is more than a word.

Yep. The meaning of true or, inner beauty is so much more than meets the eye. And it’s definitely more than a hair issue. It’s a heart issue.

Trust me, friends, I’d bet most women over 50 have had a few ugly meltdown mid-life crisis days. Why do I know this? Uh . . . It’s a complete coincidence. Or, maybe I’ve had one or two (hundred) days when I wanted to throw in the towel, smash the mirror, and run away.

Sound familiar? Yeah. Those days. So what can we do? We can let go. We can stop trying to be someone we’re not. We can be who we were really meant to be…scars and all.

Just be.

I love the hair and fashion industry. It’s become part of my life. But my hair and clothes and body don’t define me. Never did. My heart defines me. My God defines me.

Sure, this was easier to say when I had long luxurious hair and trendy clothes and a semi-great body.

But now things are different. So, what happens when our outer self-doesn’t quite match our inner self anymore?

For me, the big “C” word, two extensive surgeries, and three recurrences in eight months changed my perspective even further.

Skin Cancer is not fun—especially stage 3 recurrent Malignant Scalp Melanoma.

I know it’s out to steal, kill, and destroy more than my appearance. It wants to poison the essence of who I was created to be—The legacy I want to leave.

But I refuse to let it.

How do you want to be remembered if your outer shell is stripped away and your hair resembles a wire brush?

What if your mirror tells your heart a million lies?

Do you care if people think you look like a haggard, plump mess? Or, hope they see a quirky willow tree dancing in the storm? I know it’s unsettling to try to connect with this beat-up version of what we used to be.


What if we choose to see these changes as opportunities to nurture the soul inside our reflection? Would we begin to see crazy hair days as a blessing?

God sees us as His masterpieces. He hears our every plea. He knows our names. He is for us, and not against us.

He knows I’d rather feel a pair of fluttering wings of a butterfly’s kiss against my SPF 100 cheeks instead of a pound of blush.

This is who I am today.

Actually, this is who I always was. After all, one thunderstorm can wipe away all the makeup, ribbons, spike heels, bows … and headbands too. It could leave us praying that our life song is true—that inner beauty really is the key to agelessness. Ageless. Or, aging less. You decide.

As for me …

I’m learning to dance in the storm. I’m hoping I have many more days to praise and love and live. I’m praying I’ve come to the end of my self. I want to live in the truth of five lovely words: Thy Will be done, Lord.

Let’s embrace wiry hair doo days like we used to hug our favorite dolls. As for Giggles—if I can ever find my friend again, and I believe I will—I hope to make it up to her by proudly displaying her in my grandchildren’s playroom. I’ll share priceless stories with them about my childhood, and I can tell them she was so much more than just a thing. She was my best friend for a very long time.

Have you ever had such a bad hair day that you thought your hair resembled a wire brush? I’d love to hear a bit of your story too. Don’t forget to scroll down a bit further and join the conversation on this hairy subject in the comments section of my blog.

Love, hugs, and blessings,